ABOVE THE MEDIAN: Authenticity - How To Show Up As YOU
This month's newsletter explores how to embrace your authenticity in a corporate environment
Introduction:
“Reality tv” is scripted, Instagram images are edited 20 times before being posted, iMessage 'typing' indicators linger on our screens for an agonizingly long duration, and the new financial currencies are built based on anonymity. Clearly, our society grapples with the notion of authenticity.
Intriguingly, research indicates that the more "original" or "authentic" one is, the higher their potential for success.
As the Harvard Business Review writes, “It’s [Authenticity is] the attribute that uniquely defines great leaders.”
The HBR findings align with my findings. The Above The Median cohort of women are ALL trailblazers who confidently share their thoughts (even when it’s uncomfortable) and stand up for their beliefs.
To assist you in embracing your authenticity, we're featuring three inspiring women in this month's newsletter: Mary Anne Brelinksy, Halé Behzadi, and Kat Utecht. These accomplished individuals span the fields of energy, finance, and venture capital, boasting decades of experience in investing, developing, or managing some of the world's largest institutions.
Let’s dive in!
ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
When asked what time she wakes up, Mary Anne Brelinsky responds, “Not too early, but my husband always brings me a cup of coffee as a peace offering.” When challenged on what she means by “not too early”, she responds with the actual time, “around 5:00 am.” By 7:00 am, when the rest of the world is trying to pry their eyelids open, Mary Anne has read the global shipping reports, worked out on her Peloton, and is already at the EDF Trading headquarters in Houston, Texas. EDF Group has a market cap of $47.77B and is the world’s largest electricity company with 37.1 million customers worldwide. For over 14 years, Mary Anne has led EDF Trading (one of the largest subsidiaries of EDF Group.) Most recently, Mary Anne served as President of the company and led the sale of EDF to BP for an undisclosed amount.
Mary Anne’s involvement in an energy company may explain some sort of osmosis that occurs to make her equally energetic.
Her smile is so grand and authentic, you feel yourself start to smile when you are speaking to her. Trading floors typically evoke visions of “Wolf on Wall Street”-esque personalities screaming into phones. However, Mary Anne defies any preceding assumptions of a trader with her long brown curly hair, a love for pink, an ability to sing Taylor Swift songs, and a charismatic yet firm leadership presence. Oh – and her knitting habit really throw the Wolf of Wall Street visions out the window.
As a woman who has defied conforming to any and all stereotypes of her industry, Mary Anne is a natural spotlight for this month’s newsletter topic. Here is Mary Anne’s tactic on how to maintain authenticity in a corporate environment:
TACTIC: Stand up for what’s important to you
Many people are afraid to ask for time off and/or feel like they need to apologize for attending an event. Often, people will not even ask to make a family gathering or meaningful milestone for one of their loved ones. We pretend it does not matter to us and, then, in turn, build resentment towards our employers when we never submitted the request to begin with.
Mary Anne’s advice is to stay true to yourself and communicate openly about what is really important. If there is a family trip you want to take or a child’s dance recital you want to make then you talk to your employer and suggest how to make it work.
Mary Anne recalls a specific example of communicating honestly and openly with her employer. Mary Anne was working at Eagle Energy when her firm was acquired by Lehman Brothers. Lehman Brothers had a strict vacation policy that forbade energy traders from taking time off in July and August. Unfortunately, this conflicted with Mary Anne’s annual camping trip with her grandmother in Golden Beach (a 20+ year long tradition that she had attended in rain or shine.) Mary Anne's relationship with her grandmother was pivotal in her life. Thus, when the Lehman vacation policy took effect, Mary Anne had two options: 1. Leave behind a lifelong tradition and capitulate to the new policy, or 2. Have a candid and potentially uncomfortable conversation. Mary Anne chose option two. “I had an honest conversation with my new boss and said that this policy was a deal breaker for me. I told them ‘Golden Beach is really important to me and I won’t just say *ok*.’ My boss responded, ‘Got it. No problem. Enjoy.’ I was surprised. They got it.”
Sometimes we avoid tough conversations for fear of the unknown. Communicate openly and stay authentic to what is important to you. You may be shocked by how much your employer will value your transparent communication and often will work with you to respect your personal wishes.
Tactic: Be Approachable
Mary Anne’s success has derived from her ability to be approachable and transparent.
“My first mentor at Exxon told me, ‘Mary Anne, everybody here is really smart. You don’t get here unless you are really smart. The success of your career will depend on two things 1. That leaders see potential in you and want you to be on their team and 2. As a manager, the new people see you as a leader and want to be on your team. It’s not just about being smart, it’s about being approachable. I have seen the brightest minds but nobody wants to work with them. If you have a good attitude, people will go the extra mile to help. When you see your colleagues struggling, help them.”
Some other quick tips Mary Anne has to maintain strong relationships with her work colleagues
1. Pick up the phone and call someone. It goes a long way and puts things in perspective.
2. Set up meeting with direct reports either weekly or every other week with no agenda. Just talk. It will be easier to address the pink elephant in the room.
3. Sit and listen. Tease out what is really happening and how the person across the table sees what is going on. Be ok with awkward silence.
ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
On weekends, you might spot Halé hunting for distinctive fruits and vegetables at a Southern California farmers market. Yet, during the weekdays, she takes the helm of Citi Private Bank North America. Catering to over 14,000 ultra-wealthy clients and encompassing 25% of global billionaires, Citi Private Bank has 52 offices in 20 countries.
Halé has worked at Citi for over two decades. She initially chose to work at Citi because of its diverse global touch. “I’m Iranian-American and I knew I wouldn’t stand out at Citi but I wanted to be celebrated for my diversity,” says Halé, “Citi gave me this opportunity. I work with people all over the world.”
Although Halé runs a business line for one of the largest banks in the world, she also has a human factor where you can get below the surface of “corporate small talk.” She connects with people by opening up about her personal life. For example, she shared during the interview that she recently had a “chest-bursting day” by watching her son marry his high school sweetheart. Additionally, she remembers anecdotes about whomever she is speaking with and asks them questions about their personal lives.
Her aptitude for building authentic relationships is for one of the many reasons she has been professionally successful. Here is one tactic that Halé uses to build trust with others:
Tactic: Be consistent
“Authenticity is the alignment with your thoughts to your speech to your behavior,” says Halé. In other words, if you say you will behave a certain way, then do so. If you think something is wrong or disagree with it, voice your opinion thoughtfully.
Additionally, Halé emphasizes that the way to stay authentic is to stay consistent. “If I always show up the same way, you trust me. If I show up with the same fact pattern in different ways, you will not trust me. You won’t know where I am coming from,” says Halé, “The most successful leaders are consistent in their behaviors. This is true authenticity.”
ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
Kat Utecht, Partner Emeritus / former Managing Partner of Core Innovation Capital went to the planetarium as a child and thought, "I want to be an astronaut." While she didn't end up pursuing a career in space, she has made a name for herself as a distinguished venture capitalist by investing in early-stage companies like HealthSherpa, Unit21, Ampla, among others. In the celestial realm of venture capital, Kat has forged her own rocket ship….and still loves astronaut ice cream!
The best part about Kat is that she’s unapologetically and refreshingly herself. She’s pop culture illiterate, does not have kids, and loves to scuba dive. In her spare time, she’s trying to make brain cancer chronic and not fatal. (Her significant other, Matt, was recently diagnosed with grade III oligodendroglioma…she encourages you all to help cure cancer and donate to the cause).
Kat’s morning and evening routines are regimented and she admits she may be borderline OCD, “I wake up at a palindrome time (6:46, 7:37, or 8:08) and do the same order of going through devices of phone, slack, calendar, email, to do list. I go exercise, shower, and I am ready in under 12 minutes. No makeup and I normally wear black because it’s easy.” Kat’s morning and evening routines enable her to be extremely productive during the meat of the day.
Throughout the interview, Kat responds without a filter. And every answer is inspiring and insightful. “Life is short, I want to make an impact,” says Kat. She has put that vision to work by building a firm from the ground up. Read below for Kat’s advice on how to lean into authenticity…
Tactic: You are not a meteorologist
Often times we shy away from our authentic selves to lean into a “perceived attempt to be perfect.” For all those needing a wake-up call or a gentle reminder, perfection is an illusion. You will mess up. “I screw up all the time,” says Kat. “As a VC, I can be less right than a meteorologist and still be very successful in venture capital. The intention is to be better tomorrow and not repeat your mistakes.”
Tactic: Don’t worry about other people’s opinions
“I can’t even remember my own great, great grand parents name,” says Kat, “In the end, people aren’t going to remember.” If you can remove the pressure of what other people want or expect from you, then you can focus on who you want to be rather than what others want you to be.
Kat admits that certain things that she does are non-traditional and she does not apologize for it. “I feel so satisfied in my life,” says Kat.
Conclusion:
Mary, Halé, and Kat teach us to embrace candor, worry less about what others think, and to listen to what is fundamentally important to you. Being authentic will bring you more happiness in the long term.
Books To Read:
Mary Anne’s recommendation: The Last Days of Night, by Graham Moore
Halé’s recommendation: Ikagai, by Héctor García
Kat’s recommendation: Principles, by Ray Dalio
What’s been inspiring me lately…
Why Walking Helps Us Think
The Twisted Thought Instagram Account Page
Taryn Toomey’s The Class
Meredith Baker
Special thanks to…
Kendall Warson for all of her design advice that helps breathe life into visions
Jocelyn Teece for deep diving and contributing to the project (all while simultaneously attending Tuck Business School and navigating the pandemic)
All the amazing women who were interviewed and who opened up to share their stories
Everyone who participated in a focus group that inspired the questions for the interviews
What a fantastic message. As someone who only wakes up on even numbers, this palindrome idea has rocked my world :) Thanks Ally & team for another insightful newsletter. Cheers to authenticity!
What a great way to start my work day - reading authentic advice from real women doing amazing work. Thank you Ally!