Above The Median: How do I improve my personal well-being?
January's newsletter is a breakdown of tips/tactics for ways to increase your mental and physical health while building a successful career.
Introduction
“New year, new me,” is a mantra we hear in our social orbits as the world adjusts to 2023. In the spirit of self reflection, this month’s newsletter is focused on how to manage personal well-being with a successful career. I personally know many people who think that they must sacrifice everything in their life (including their own personal happiness) to get the next promotion. I can tell you from personal experience, this is false. As one of the featured women, Erin Harkless Moore says, “quality triumphs quantity.” You can deliver top quality work and still make time for yourself. Empirical evidence shows that successful leaders find ways to make time for sleep, exercise, and socializing. From INC’s report, 22% of CEOs have therapists and 33% use executive coaches. For this month’s newsletter we spotlight three incredible women who will reveal tips/tactics to maintain both mental and physical health.
The three brilliant women featured are Jacki Zehner, Erin Harkless Moore, and Ryan Shadrick Wilson. They have worked at companies such as Goldman Sachs, Pivotal Ventures, Cambridge Associates, Move America, and the Milken Institute.
Two quick editor notes:
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ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
Jacki Zehner is a woman of many firsts. She is a first generation college graduate, the first female trader and the youngest woman to become a partner at Goldman Sachs. After going to college for business, she recalls asking her manager at Goldman for advice on how to be successful. Her manager’s response was “butt in seat, phone in ear.” Jacki learned to first and foremost do one’s job well and not assume equal pay but to focus on leading with talent. Jacki rose up the ranks at Goldman over 14 years and left as a Partner and Managing Director, and later co-founded Women Moving Millions, the largest community of women funding women philanthropists in the world.
Although Jacki excelled in the office, she was wearing herself down on a daily basis. “I was a workaholic”, says Jacki. She commuted an hour and a half a day each way, had two little kids, and was moving at the speed of light when she lost a key sponsor in her life. “It was like putting the parking brake on while going 300 miles an hour.” With her mental health and physical health at risk, she experienced an *aha moment* that things needed to change.
Tactic: Only Commit to Your Hell Yes’
It was years later that Jacki wrote about the new framework for her life that grew out of her *aha* moment. Jacki calls it the “Hell Yes, Yes, No, Have To.” The framework helped Jacki re-adjust her life priorities and internally reflect on what mattered the most to her. The framework is something that Jacki lives by on an on going basis. She wrote about it in a LinkedIn post here: The HELL YES!! bucket
“Focus on the things that get up and out of bed in the morning and makes your eyes light up when someone asks you about it,” says Jacki, “While your life’s activities cannot all fall in that bucket, the more they can, the better.”
Derek Sivers’ book “Hell Yeah or No” is a recommended read to learn more about this framework.
ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
Erin Harkless Moore, leads the investment team at Pivotal Ventures, a Melinda French Gates company and is responsible for an investment portfolio that drives breakthrough innovations and advances women's power and influence. Prior to Pivotal, Erin was a Managing Director for Cambridge Associates ($73 billion in AUM.) Erin speaks of her experiences with a unique aura of humble confidence. It’s clear she has worked monumentally hard to get to where she is today. She equates “being in one’s stride” in a job to “being a professional athlete.” “You get good enough that certain things become memory recognition. It’s like Serena Williams or Lebron James. You have to practice enough and have enough reps to gain memory recognition. And once you build your foundation, then you are ready for the curveballs.”
Erin’s work ethic enabled her to nimbly move from Goldman Sachs to Cambridge to Pivotal. However, Erin admits that she prioritized building her career foundation above everything else and she sacrificed a lot for that decision. “I was working 14+ hours a day, ordering Seamless for every meal and not exercising,” says Erin. She missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with her family members early in her career to prioritize excel spreadsheets for her bosses in investment management . She also prioritized professional accomplishments ahead of personal relationships. (Erin acknowledges that the financial industries have shifted a bit to support wellness for young professionals compared to when she started her career.)
Erin’s health moved down on her list of priorities as she ascended the corporate ladder. As she got older, she realized she was taking her health for granted. She got signals that the current pace was unsustainable. Her energy was low, and she had friends who were getting diagnosed with cancer and facing other serious challenges, which forced her to re-evaluate her own health. She shifted her priorities, started working smarter and carving out more space for exercise and time with family, friends and dating. Her work life still very much continued to be “up there,” but now wasn’t the only thing that mattered.
Tactic: Quality over quantity
As cliche as it may seem, the saying, “Quality over quantity,” is a term Erin integrated into her life . She prioritizes quality moments when it comes to parenting, exercise, work relationships, and friendships. Here are some tactics she has across those topics (in her own words):
Exercise: You don’t need 2 hours every day, but you can carve out 30 minutes to exercise. Work will always be there. Find time for yourself.
Health: I wind down by reading books at night and I save the wine for Thursday-Saturday. Reducing the number of drinking days enables me to really enjoy a glass of wine sparingly rather than having drinking as a daily habit that interferes with my sleep.
Parenting: You don’t need to be at every school event as a parent volunteer. Pick 1-2 events during the school year that matter most to you and your kids and really show up for those.
Love: Find one day a year for a relationship strategy retreat. Get a babysitter for the day and spend quality time with your partner to give one another feedback on everything from the household, finances, career stuff, etc. Spend one day a year to get honest alignment.
ABOVE THE MEDIAN SPOTLIGHT:
Ryan’s belief in “cultivating serendipity” enabled her to unlock unique career opportunities. From running strategy for Michelle Obama’s Partnership for a Healthier America program to being a paid advisor for Mike Milken, Ryan worked with some of the most influential people in the private and public sectors.
However, the unique positions Ryan accrued were not handed to her, “I remember forcing myself to go to this conference to mingle. I awkwardly stood by the bar by myself to order a drink. Turns out there was another woman next to me doing the same thing.” That woman was Christina Paxon, the current President ofBrown University. During their lighthearted conversation, Ryan, a successful corporate lawyer at the time, mentioned her desire to shift gears to work on health and childhood obesity issues. Chris mentioned her connection to new First Lady Michelle Obama, who shared these same interests, unlocking a unique introduction to Michelle Obama’s staff and inevitably getting a new job as General Counsel and Chief Strategy Officer of Michelle Obama’s health initiative.
For Ryan’s next role, she had an equally serendipitous meet up with Mike Milken in the green room of The Milken Global Conference. The conversation went so well that Mike offered to hire Ryan to consult on global food policy for the Milken Institute. Ryan’s roles with Michelle Obama and Mike Milken would have never happened without fortuitous conversations. However, the “luck aspect” derived from Ryan intentionally putting herself in high profile environments, even when she didn’t feel like making the time. As the Roman Philosopher Seneca said, “luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” Ryan was prepared.
Tactic: A hearty portion of health is happiness
Ryan developed a name for herself in the world of food policy and, with nutrition being a big part of health, we asked her about health/wellness. Ryan is not a cookie cutter nutritionist with her own family because she simply does not have the time. “There is a tremendous irony in what I do. Once I was on a call about public school nutrition while on my way to pick up a pizza for my family because I simply did not have time to cook dinner,” admits Ryan. The most important point is that she does not blame herself for this. “Health is about balance. You do not have to feel awful for each individual food choice you make. I think gummy bears are delicious and sometimes a girl just needs some gummy bears! So, I eat them! No shame!”
Ryan’s health tactic is to focus less on calorie counting and more on finding a job that you're passionate about. Ryan prioritizes what makes her happy: doing purposeful work. “A healthy portion of health is happiness,” says Ryan, “I’ve watched some of my best friends be miserable for chapters in their own lives because their jobs do not reflect their personal values.” Ryan is so committed to purposeful work, where she drives a lot of happiness, that she admits she took initial pay cuts for job opportunities. “I made less money initially and then built back up my wealth…and my health.” Now, she runs her own company and works only with people she adores, like Pharrell Williams with whom she has a new project. Prioritize your dream job over your dream paycheck. It will be more fulfilling and contribute to more positive mental health.
Conclusion:
Jacki, Erin, and Ryan’s stories emphasize that while we can gain career accolades externally, “success” is often intertwined to how you feel in your internal world. I think as young professionals, we often focus on go-go-go and running at 100mph without considering how we are doing as people. However, a career is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s important to prioritize taking care of yourself to reach the long finish lines ahead.
As you create goals for yourself in this new year, we encourage you to consider making a few personal ones alongside your professional ones. And the goals can be simple (i.e. aim go to bed 15 minutes earlier, meditate for 5 minutes, call a family member once a week, etc.) From the Above The Median interviews, we know that the more energy you have the farther, you can run in your career. Prioritize your internal world and the external world will make space for you to succeed.
Books To Read:
Jacki’s recommendation: Kiss My Tiara, by Susan Jane Gilman
Erin’s recommendation: First 90 Days by Michael D. Watkins for when you’re starting in a new job
Ryan’s recommendation: The Choice, Embrace The Possible, by Dr. Edith
What’s been inspiring me lately…
How the food affects the mind, as well as the body - The Economist
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See you all next month!
Special thanks to…
Kendall Warson for all of her design advice that helps breathe life into visions
Jocelyn Teece for deep diving and contributing to the project (all while simultaneously attending Tuck Business School and navigating the pandemic)
All the amazing women who were interviewed and who opened up to share their stories
Everyone who participated in a focus group that inspired the questions for the interviews
What an honor to be featured with these other incredible women. Thanks for sharing my story. Just this morning I was journalling on how to slow down, know that I cannot do everything, and prioritize. Happy New Year!